Ugly Duckling...

I believe that Norway is waiting to be butt of many blond jokes. As I was on the plane, I looked around the public sitting around me and apart from some grey haired piers everyone was blond. I knew I was going to be entering a different world when I tried to listen to what people were saying and I couldn’t understand a single word. I got off the plane at 8 at night and made my way to the information desk to get information on how to get to Oslo city center. She told me I had to wait for an hour for the next bus and from there I take a train and I would be there. I sat down, pulled out my computer and got to blogging. Out of the pit of the baggage claim came two confused young men that B-lined right for me. They started asking me questions about where I was going, where I was staying and if they could tag along. I took the little ducklings under my wing. As I said previously, the directions were quite confusing, but I had to protect these confused and wide eyed children and bring them to safety. My paternal attitude shown through and we found our way through to the hostel of my booking choice. It was midnight by that time, so it was time for bed. Good Night...

Moral of the story, if someone asks for your help, make sure to make them feel insignificant. 

I Took A Wrong Turn In Albuquerque...

I am about to leave to Norway on this day and I am getting a little antsy. I haven’t done the traveling thing for a bit of time now and each first experience after a lull is a bit rusty. Luckily I have everything taken care of. My 10 euro flight to Oslo checked in, hostel booked, warm clothes packed. To book my hostel I used Hostelworld.com. As a feature, they send you directions that were written out by the hostel to get easy access to their hostel. It is debatable depending on who you talk to(my mom), but I am pretty good about taking directions. I would say 95% of my travels were a success when trying to get to my hostel(damn you Salzburg, there was no bus 5). Well I took a look at the directions that they sent me today. To describe it best, I would say that the writer was either ADD or addicted to caffeine in a huge way. “get from the airport, center of town, bus 17, if you take a car then go down SJKNSDJNKDF street, but also from airport look for the homeless man, give him bread he wont pee on you…keep going…” I have noticed on other directions I have had to take that I had to be extremely perceptive. You know how in detective or spy movies how the hero somehow finds a clue to where he/she needs to go just by looking at a random sign that has the exact info that they need. A lot of what traveling is being able to find those clues and hoping for the best. If I feel like I am in the right spot, sometimes I just stand there frozen, take in my environment for a couple minutes and make my move. The people passing by most likely wonder if I am a posing street performer or caught a serious case of open eyed narcolepsy. I am a little skeptical about how I will fair in Oslo with these directions, but worst comes to worst Kurt has taught me to make fires out of nothing.

Moral of the story, there aren’t that many sardines in Sardinia…Weird…

Do you? I Do!

As advertised I am on my way to see where a quarter of my blood comes from. My handsome looks are a mix of German, Norwegian, and other. What other I am, I like to sprinkle a bit of everything in there. Helps with applications process when they ask for my race. Depending on the mood I will choose African, Persian, Indian, or Ninja Turtle. Michael drove me an hour to the airport so that I didn’t have to take the bus. On the way I wasn’t sure what to ask him, so I got personal and intruded on his history. He has been complaining that Kurt and I will go wild in the next few weeks if we don’t feel the touch of a woman. “So Michael, how did you go about talking to women?”. He gave his German smile and said that he use to be very shy and would wait for women to talk to him. He also said that they never came to him, so he was just like every other man out there that is standing on the sidelines holding the wall up. He said that when he was just a little older then I was he started gaining the confidence to talk to women. I could see there was no real gems of advice he was going to offer about this timeless quandary.

I then asked how he first talked to his wife Silvia. He gave that grin that told me I was in for a doozy. He told me that Silvia had a Japanese friend who was into mysticism and was foretelling that she would meet a bald blue eyed man with a gold earring. Michael on the other side was telling me that she had entered his dreams before they had laid their gaze. It was in India that Michael was in a hotel. She walked in and there was very intense eye contact between them. Later that day at dinner time he was sitting only a few table away from her again engaging in the equivalent to footsies but with eyes. Then straight out of a movie, she got up and walked over to him and pulled out a cigarette and asked if he had a light. Again they did not talk much after that. It wasn’t until a day later when both were sitting in a garden within close proximity that she came up to him and offered him some papaya. They started talking and shared the papaya right there. She pulled off a little necklace that had a bag at the end of it and handed it to him. She then told him it was a meteorite and that she wanted him to have it. The next day they got married and have been living happily for 17 years. You don’t need to believe in love at first site, but mysticism is too legit to quit.

Moral of the story, if you are thinking something, say it. Who needs a filter, whats the worse that can happen.

The Boys Are Back In Town…

Yesterday Silvia took the kids on a plane ride to go see their mother in Torino. I don’t know exactly where that is on a map, but I do know that the house now only has 3 men in it. It is now my belief that around the world when the opposite sex is not present the first thing to do is order a pizza. For dinner and lunch laziness had consumed us and decided a half assed cook was going to be better than getting milk for cereal. I am not sure if there will actually be work done for the three days or if we will just watch soccer games, nap and have sailor talk.

At the end of the 3 day vacation it will be time to go to Norway. One report I read a couple weeks ago was that it was 7 degrees Celsius there another said that they had a meter of snow. I am not sure what is gonna be going on there, but I know I am gonna probably see at least 3 movies just to stay warm in the theatre.

Just Dive Into It...

Fun rolled on after our experience at the spoontino. Sunday was our day off along with the hottest and nicest day we have had since I got there. As result we met up with a few people from the fiesta the day before at the ocean for a primitive BBQ. With swim trunks on and towel on shoulder I was excited to get to experience once again what the Mediterranean waters would offer me. The last time I took a dip in the waters were in the greek islands and it was beautiful. As we parked we did our 10 minutes walk to a hidden location only known by locals. The beach was actually a slew of medium to small sized rocks. Yes, barefoot in rocks is not as enjoyable as beach sand that pampers your pups. This wasn’t going to take away the fact that I was soaking up the sun and going to be hopping in that crystal blue water. After the greetings and cheek kisses I departed with the kids to the deep end of the rocks where it is safe to cliff jump. Something told me “Brian, feel the water, you have been sick already, you don’t want to get sick again do you?” you see how well I listen. I actually did feel the water, but everyone knows that the toe or finger test is not a realistic test to tell how the rest of your body will fair against the cold. Take the temperature of cold water with your finger and subtract it by 20 degrees and you are in the range you should expect. After I did my false litmus test I got ready for my dive. Orlando went head first off the medium size jump. It seemed that as he hit the water he was out of the water just as quickly. Can’t be that cold, I touched it with my finger. I was at one of the higher jumps in the area. Took a couple steps back and got my wheels revving like they did in old cartoons. Jolting forward I planted my left foot, jumped, throwing my hands in front of my head and going head first just as Orlando did. As my foot left the rocks I immediately regretted my decision to dive. I have never been one to let my head explore something that I have never explored before. At this moment it was a moot point. I had to go all out or take a nasty belly flop that would most likely leave me hospitalized and not ever having kids. Luckily for me water moved away as I hit it so I didn’t hurt too much. It could have been a little kinder with its temperature though. I understood very well how Orlando felt as he touched the water. Daggers, fire, ice, pain, headache, no breathe, goose pimples. Needless to say I got ready for round two. This time I wanted proof of this happening. Orlando took the camera and we did this again. His timing was a bit off to the point I was always in the water when he took it. If I had to guess how many times I had to jump off the rocks I would say 20 times to take a good shot. By that time I was numb and feeling didn’t affect me anymore.

The rest of the day was full of eating, soccer and wine. 6 hours later we drove home in smiles.

Moral of the story, SMILE!!!

Spoontino

Spoontino. I am not sure if that is the correct spelling of the word but I found out what it means on Saturday. After work we headed home to clean up and get ready for some kind of fiesta. A shower and a drive later we were at a neighbors olive orchard walking up to his house. Quick side note, it would seem that every place in Bosa is up a hill. If you go up a hill chances are you will have to go up another hill just to get back to where you came from. I feel like it is the old saying “I used to walk 10 miles in the snow to school every day uphill both ways.” Bosa somehow makes that possible. We arrive to the peak and we are warmly greeted by a large group of well spirited people. By spirited I mean they had delved into the spirits of wine already and gave many of the kisses. I have been mostly familiar with females giving me kisses on the cheek before, so it was somewhat an awkward experience when I got one from a couple of the natives. I wasn’t quite sure how to react when they shook hands then pulled in, closed eyes, puckered lips. If they were going for my trap I dodge a bullet but still left me wondering where I was. Immediately Kurt and I put together the Slack Line and the people came. I felt like Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams, “If you build it they will come” but it was actually “if you build a line out of rope, people will walk on it”. Eventually the purpose for our visit had appeared. The host had slaughtered one of his sheep and cooked nearly the whole thing for us to eat. As they were cooking people were sitting around a large table made of scrap wood and blocks talking and laughing back and forth. Imagine any Italian movie where a foreigner goes to visit a family dinner and that is where I was. There was some English that was spoken like “you like cheese?”, “you like wine?”, “you play guitar?”. After dinner was served 2 guitars a banjo and a drum came out. I couldn’t believe how good these guys played together. The first song they sang it seemed like the guy was just coming up with lyrics off the top of his head. I was very impressed. I gave a standing ovation alone. The next song came and it was right then that I found out that 1. the chords that the three guys were playing were exactly the same for the next two hours 2. he was playing pop songs that everyone knew so it was a little less impressive 3. He made the dogs bark at his voice so it must not have been good for their ears.

The night time was quickly approaching and Michael and Silvia was telling the kids that they were going to be leaving soon. Nahima was even sitting there in a chair crying out of tiredness. She would just yell out “MOOOOOOM” with tears in her eyes. Silvia would turn around and say “soon”. I felt their pain, if I was her age I would be creating a big fuss as well. The only reason I didn’t was because I am “grown up” even though all I wanted to do was say “I WANNNNNA GOOOO”. 7 hours at a spoontino is a bit of a day.

Moral of the story, if 1 door opens so do 10 others. Which do you pick???

Virus

I am sorry for my inconsistency with my latest blog posting. For the last few days I have been doing quite a bit that is worthy to write about but just couldn’t find the time to sit down and write a Brian worthy blog post.

I hit the trifecta yesterday. I wish I was talking about basketball because I have been itching to get back into playing. Nope, the trifecta is the 3 fun sicknesses. First I was not doing well with a cold that made my eyes pop out the sockets. Early march near my birthday I was incapacitated by a fever that reminded me why I don’t like fevers. Today though, my stomach decided that the virus going around would be a good candidate for keeping things interesting. I woke up this morning like I do any morning. Put my corn flakes and pineapple juice down the hatch and went to work. It wasn’t until we were half way through pruning that I started feeling a bit funny. Not funny like “how do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it!”(I deliver it better in person). Mr. stomach was doing some flips and turns that dropped me to my knees and said “Oh no I don’t feel to swell”. Yes I did use the word swell, I am bringing it back. I still had two hours of work to push through before we were finished for the day. I was not a happy panda at all. We finally get home and I have only 2 feelings. I will not go into detail, but they involve relieving pressure in my stomach and intestines.  In the midst of blowing chunks all I could think of was how much I miss my mom holding my head back like a pez dispenser to allow easy flow. I really don’t understand what it is that has made my immune system go from awesome to on holiday.

Moral of the story, eat your vitamin C.