A Moment In History...

150 years ago Italy was unified to be the boot it is today. A simplified story of it is that a bunch of guys with silly hats walked from the south of Italy to the north saying “hey wanna be a unified country?”. Some of them had to spit off and swim to Sardinia, but eventually the great country you see today is due to their persuasive abilities and long legs. As a way to commemorate these soldiers of unity, old men dressed in the funny hats carrying flags walk up the street and meet in the main piazza. While there they create a little border for the speaker and a wreath. Outside of the border are other old men who usually would be standing around gossiping anyway. This event just brought more gossip to a central location. As the ceremony took place I noticed that not a single policeman or soldier was dressed in the same garb. Hats would be different, jackets, gloves, shoes, pants, pins and buttons. I am not saying they just went to the thrift store to find whatever they could, but I wouldn’t be surprised either. A couple people were called up to speak in front of the amassed crowd of geezers. Since I didn’t understand what he was saying I couldn’t help but to picture one of the guys accepting an Oscar during his speech. “This is so unexpected, it wasn’t me who actually unified Italy but I live here so I would like to thank my mom and dad and Billy(pointing to someone in the crowd) for believing in me.” Then the music starts to get loud as the sign to get off stage. The whole event took maybe 10 minutes from start to finish. When it was done the old men stayed right where they were and kept gossiping like nothing had happened.

Moral of the story, don’t get in the middle of an old man and his daily news…

I've Gotta A Feelin

Today was a sensory overload for all 6 of my senses. Yea I have a 6^th sense and it was buzzing like Spiderman. But let me paint you a picture of what was so mind blowing to me that it was worthy enough to write a blog post about it. I guess I am not too picky when it comes to what I write about. I wrote a post about not being able to walk on wet rocks around the city, but you catch my drift.

After lunch I was on duty to drag and burn. Michael was pruning his last few trees on his land. The day had been very windy yet slightly warm. I don’t know if there is anything that feels so nice then a slightly warm wind that just whizzes past you and flutters your hair in the wind. If you are bald I am sorry. Almost as soon as I got my inner caveman coming out to create fire it started to rain. The rain drops were sound worthy. They were big enough for making “Plop” sounds on every surface. This was the peak of my blowing of the mind. All at once I was getting a warm wind from one angle, cooling plopped rain drops from another side, and a raging fire burning furiously in front of me. If that wasn’t enough to make me wonder what dimension I was in, the smell of burning olive trees with that sweet smell of rain on fresh dirt was throwing me for a loop. Finally I was watching the rain through the sun’s light that was glowing brilliantly over the ocean. All while I am trying to Glee this moment coming up with songs that go along with my situation. The best I could think of was CCR “have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day”, Bob Segar “against the wind”, James Taylor “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain”. My shovel became my microphone and the dogs my audience. It truly was a magnificent feeling I had that day.

Ancora Per Favore...

The Zipp family has been absolutely wonderful to me over the past couple months. Being with them each day for hours and hours has made Kurt and I honorary members of the family. Along with being family members, we have developed routines and taken in Italian habits. The most noticeable time that I see this happen is during our dinner time each night. It is almost a joke to Kurt and I that we know exactly what is gonna happen right before it will happen. Let me take you through one typical night at the Zipp residence.

Michael tells us he will pick us up at 8 outside our house. So he is there at 8:15 while we are waiting outside in the cold pissing and moaning about how this is the last time we are going to wait. Once we get in the car we forget what we are mad about and are just happy to be eating soon. Three minutes later we are at the house and walking through the door. We take our shoes and coats off and head to the kitchen. Orlando is usually to the right lost on facebook. To make him mad I usually stand right behind him and ask if each girl on there is his girlfriend(only once I was right, but that’s worthy of its own post). Nahima runs up to Kurt and I and says “GIOCI CARTA?” which means “you play cards?”. She sets it up as her mom yells at her not to play on the kitchen table, but we do anyway. We go through the motions of playing this card game similar if not the exact same as UNO. Michael is usually lost in that nights soccer game with a tall German beer. The fun really starts when Silvia is ready to serve the food.

“Vi e tavola” or “go to the table” is the first warning that the children get before the Italian fury is unleashed. Luckily for Nahima she enjoys eating like I do so she doesn’t need to be told again. The teenager on the other hand hates food and listening to his parents. To reduce the amount of yelling involved I usually physically pick him up from and carry him to his seat. If there were shackles I would use them. Depending on the day of the week we will either talk or not talk. How much the kids annoy their parents will determine if there will be a smile on their face as we eat or not. Now when we eat I have learned the delicate art of eating spaghetti without causing a mess or slurping up long dangly straws. I watched as others did it and slowly caught on, but now I believe I am pretty much a professional at it. When one plate of pasta is done Silvia jumps up and steals your plate before you have time enough to lick your fork clean. Forget about portions, you have simply have to take it. Now once I have finished all my food there is usually some residue on the plate. I swear that if a single drop of olive oil is left on the plate, world war 3 will happen. The end of the meal is taking bread and sponging up every little bit until the plate looks like it went through a power dish washer. Mean while Orlando is trying to get out of eating, Nahima is kicking Kurt, Silvia is yelling at the kids to stop, and Michael is watching his game. I get a front row seat to the chaos at the Zipp’s house.

Moral of the story, If you have nothing nice to say, then say it in code.

Up Up And AWAY

For the past few days I have been going against my natural tendencies. The ugly head of stress had popped its head into my life. It felt like how imagine a cat feels when you pet its hair in the wrong direction, confused and wanting to bite something. When I came to Italy I had questions about visas and what I had to do to stay here for a year. Official websites and internet threads told me I couldn’t. Seasoned travelers disagreed and had a clever approach to sidestepping the visa. I have 90 days to be in the EU per entry, so the loophole is to leave the EU and come right back in. This seemed simple enough but this is where the “stress” snuck its way in. Things to think about; anything north is going to be cold, anything south is north Africa and war torn, west is Mexico, money, distance, which country would be fun to visit for a couple days. My initial thoughts were to go to Switzerland because I loved it so much the last time I visited. Problems; too cold, too expensive, peak season for tourists, might not stamp the passport which is what I need most. The other options were Turkey and Croatia, but both were upwards of 500 Euros round trip. That would be the most expensive bit of ink I would have ever known.

With time dwindling down until my much needed departure, my head was drunk with confusion and angst. I don’t know how to plan. Other people do that. The invisible hand was petting my fur wrong. My usual method to deal with these situations is to wait. Waiting has been my best tool in figuring out problems and this was no different. Today Michael picked me up in the morning and with a bright German smile he said “I solved your problem”. I love problem solvers. What did Michael have for me? The solution to my problems in the form of a plane ticket. He didn’t personally buy my ticket, but he did discover a 1 day deal going on with RyanAir. The advertisement was six Euros for a flight to certain destinations. He did some finger magic on the keyboard and he might as well have pulled a rabbit out of a hat with the trick he showed me. Ten Euros later I had round trip tickets from Sardinia to Oslo, Norway. Never did I think I would go to Norway in the…Wait it is gonna be freezing… I filled the air with my concern but Michael dismissed it saying I could borrow some of his winter clothes. WIN…

Moral of the story, why act when you can wait…

Come On Now...

I am not sure if you readers are aware of this, but I am not a wizard when it comes to correct grammar. When you are over the shock of this please continue reading… Like I said, I am not a wordsmith, but I sure get upset when other people, you are naturally born American, corrupt their sentences with specific words. I am not going to name any names, but a specific American that I am living with is doing this and is sending me right off of my rocker. First I must say that Australians can get away with this because they are just so darn cute, like a teddy bear. Canadians also have a free pass to do this, cause they’re Canadians. But other than that, most people should not be using “eh” for every sentence blurted out. This non specific American will say things like “I think there should be a cup of coffee on the stove…(pause, pause, pause) EH?” Nearly each time he says it I mentally squeeze a lemon in my eyes. Are you asking a question or giving a statement? Go get your Canadian citizenship and come talk to me…

The roommate has developed something new to say that makes no sense either. He didn’t gradually build up to this habit, it all kind of happened in a flurry and hasn’t stopped since. The word “yet” seems like such a peaceful yet bold word that has a demanding presence. Though when used wrong can seem like it and the person involved has developed a case of turrets. It was on Thursday that he said “is it Thursday yet!” Ok lets think of this… he was well aware of the day and said stated it was Thursday in question form. No jeopardy here. If he had forgot to use certain inflection in his voice to make it a question there is no need for the yet. Yes I know “yet” can be substituted for “still”, but in this case, it just makes someone sound ignorant.

I am sorry for the person blasting post about this, I had to share it to get it off my chest.

Moral of the story, When you need to get something off your chest, start with taking your shirt off…

Lesson Learned

Good news and bad news. Good news is that I am quickly picking up more Italian so I understand it better now. The speaking is still a bit on the rough side. But now I am picking up little words that make sentences complete. The glue if you will. Bad news is that I have only learned what the parents talk about to their children. Each day we all have the same routine and the kids get rambunctious each day. When the shenanigans start, mommy and daddy start using their words. And these words I now understand. “Come here”, “go to bed”, ”brush your teeth”, “don’t put that in your mouth”, “STOP” are just some of the regular phrases used each night. But if I were to give them justice, I would write them like Yoda speaks do to the crazy sentence structure people who are in Italy use. So “your mouth in don’t that put.” There we go… It was when I was sick that I realized I am never going to get anywhere without learning more than just the parenting basics. My fever partner Nahima decided to bring out her school books and tutor me 1 on 1. I had graduated from level 2 and now she was taking me through her next level. I had a hard time coloring inside the lines and understanding the concept of sharing, but the rest of level 2 was easy. If level 3 is any harder they might need to hold me back. Practicing new Italian words will be an everyday activity…I hope…

Moral of the story, no one looks smart doing a tongue twister…

3 Is A Crowd

The town of Bosa has return back to its normal quiet town once more. The thousands of visitors that came for carnivale have left and now only leave our population of 20. This gives me more room chances to analyze the Italian people in their natural habitat. I usually sit on the benches in the park and speak to myself in an Australian accent like I am observing wildlife. “CRIKEY, the alpha male is buying a gelato for what looks like a female in heat from another grazing area. This is the mating process among the teenagers of this species. In the bush we call it givin ‘er da old romp around.” What I noticed recently is that no Italians will attempt to walk anywhere alone. Conclusions could be reached to why this happens. 1. Body warmth in the winter. 2. They think that they are in a horror movie. Those that break from the group die first. 3. They enjoy peoples company. I am most tempted to claim number two as the winner, but other hints show that the third is the most viable option. People don’t use cell phones much here. The people they walk with don’t need to be texted each day the new lol or what happened last night. Italians love to talk, a lot. From hanging out with Silvia(a full blown Italian), she will get stuck in one spot for an hour talking about god knows what. I think there are only so many combination of words until conversations start repeating. Last clue, nothing else to do in Bosa during the winter. The town is as dull as a (insert your own dull object here) during winter so talking and walking is the next best option. I am just gonna have to conclude that this little social phenomenon is a part of the culture.

Moral of the story, Sex in the City is not for men.