The New Diet

Who needs the Atkins diet or tweenkie diet when you can use what I call "The Travelers Diet". For short I will call it TTD. Because I have masterfully designed this diet, it is only appropriate I get to name it and regulate how it is said. The first part is pronounced like you have a stutter and really have something important to say. Phonetically - te te. The end is the most important. The first two letters are like introducing someone into the foyer, now you gotta wow them with the 100' plasma in your bathroom. You continue the trembling affect  while saying the DEE, but end it with a slight head nod forward then cut it off mid EE like a damn was built in your throat and the rushing water of sound will not escape.

Now that we got the most important part of the diet out of the way, its time to describe how it works.

Step 1. Cut a hole in the box...(pop culture reference, you dont need to do this, but you can)
Step 2. Buy a ticket to travel.
Step 3. Travel
Step 4. Put a budget on your travels. This is important cause you will be forced to decide if you are gonna eat lunch that day, or to take as many free apples as you can from the free breakfast in the morning.
Step 5. Eat local stuff that doesnt have the name McDonalds, or Kentucky Fried in it.
Step 6. Walk for 5 or 6 hours to your locations, it is gonna be tiring, but your mom gave yoiu legs(so did dad, thanks dad).
Step 7. Eat only when you feel like your stomach is gonna attack other organs near it to feed itself.
Step 8. Repeat 5 through 7 and #1 occasionally.

Now you need to have a real bystandard that has done this with huge exagerated results...

"My name is Brian Halbach and I have done the  Tetede diet and man I went down one belt notch in 5 days. I would like to thank the diet maker and my dad for giving me legs."

Good luck dieting!!!