Now that you have accomplished your new found weight with the TTD(The Travelers Diet©), it is time to put it back on. Boy do I have a diet for you. I know how tough it is on you to be able to keep traveling all this time not eating more than bread and Nutella. Your pain is over. With Brian’s new celebrity diet ESHF(Eat Silvia’s Healthy Food©), you can take your taste buds on a wild rollercoaster ride of pasta and vegetables. I know your first question “How do I pronounce it so I can tell all my friends about it?” Great question, and don’t worry, this won’t give you whip lash like the TTD did. Start off with a smile like The Joker(Jack Nicolson joker) and stick your tongue out like a doctor is checking your tonsils. Whatever sound that comes out will be good enough. Next you are going to pull your head back until you have no chin or too many to count and sssss like a snake. The last part is the most important. By now you are half way out of breathe, and if you aren’t, get rid of some air. Lean your head forward and give an H sound. You should look like you are breathing hot air on a mirror to write on it, but actually just breathing on someone’s face. Since you are out of breath now, struggle to get that last f out. Once you get that down it is time to start your new diet.
Here is the step by step process that has me feeling great.
1. Buy an extra pair of larger jeans cause you might get bigger.
2. Find a Italian cook named Silvia.
3. Have her cook only naturally made products.
4. When it comes time to eat, clean your plate, the two people next to you plates, and go for 2nd and 3rd helpings.
5. Do some work outside, but don’t stress yourself too much, you don’t want to ruin your appetite.
6. Repeat from #2 and do number 1 when you no longer need a belt.
Real live dieter, “I did this diet and took down all mirrors in my house so I don’t have to see what is happening to my stomach, but let me tell you, I have never been so happy.”
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